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Page name: Domestic Violence Prevention [Logged in view] [RSS]

2009-08-23 17:48:24

Last author: gypsy_soul
Owner: Neurotic Obsession

# of watchers: 8

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Domestic Violence Prevention

This wiki is made in dedication to Corinne DeMachio. (1968-1998),and also to anyone who lost their life or been hurt because of domestic abuse.

What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, happens when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and/or control the other person. An abuser doesn’t “play nice.” He or she uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear their partner down and gain complete power over them. He or she may threaten them, hurt them, or hurt those around them. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.

Victims of domestic abuse or domestic violence can be men or women, although women are more commonly victimized. (Note: I will use the pronoun “he” for convenience only) This abuse happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. Except for the gender difference, domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended.

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his behavior. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over his wife or partner.

This wiki has been designed to enlighten and teach. As one who witnessed these things, first hand, I know how difficult it is to understand a few key points.

Violent Behavior is an Abuser's Choice!

Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are not about anger and rage:

* He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
* If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
* The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show (Stomach, kidneys, back). If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land (face, legs, arms).

Source: http://www.mvwcs.com/redflag.html

I can go into deeper detail, but that will just be too much to read. I'll just leave it at:

If you feel you are in physical danger immediately call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224.

Remember! Domestic abuse affects everyone. Not just the victim. If there are children, they will be affected greatly for it. Also, if you're a parent and your child comes to you with a problem about mommy or daddy hurting them or threatening them, listen to your child, and take the appropriate action!

If you wish to be one that someone can talk to, simply ask in the comments. I'll put your name up immediately. If you wish to add your own personal experience, I'll get to work making a wiki page just for that.

Here are some people on Elfpack willing to help you, give advice or just be there when you need someone to listen.

[Neurotic Obsession]
[Tis gone but never gone]
[NyxianVanity]
[WonderTweek]

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: hey make me a person ppl can talk too

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: There we go.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: this is really good son, am very proud of u ^^ so can i join please???

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Sure mummy

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: thank you son ^^

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Once I get batteries for my camera, I'm going to make a very good banner. I can make fake cuts and bruises so I'll do my step-mom up and take a picture, then I'll do my step-brother.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: ok, hun.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: So i've been added. Thank you.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I was told you wanted to join. If you don't, I can take you off.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: No i do. ^-^ really. Glad to be part of it.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: yay!!! the gang is all here

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: lol

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I want to go to a shooting range.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: cool

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: dont hurt urself out there...that can be dangerous

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I just realized [gypsy_soul] has been staring at the top of my head for about half an hour now XD

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: u just realised that XD

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: realised wot?

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: ive been staring at the top of his head

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Nice. Dont worry vamp, im sharpshooter status. I know the rules.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: oh..right

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Im just hungry now.

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: i can cook u something if ud like...or i have homemade lasagna from last night

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: oh...i love lasange

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Me too^^

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: ^^....ben and jerrys ice cream yum

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *drools* quit teasing me.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I have cold toast... T.T

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: i wasnt trying to tease u...i was offering it...maybe one day we will all have a picnic together and eat our fav foods

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: :D Chili chicken and squid rings! Nom nom nom

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: oh....that would be so cool

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Gator and deer sausage!

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: ^^

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: u ppl eat some weird things....i love itXD

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: lol

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Lolz. Deer is delicious and so is gator if its cooked right.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I never had gator. But I agree, deer is good. Caribou is awesome too.

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: ive had deer...but not gator....does anyone eat squirrell?

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I've had frog lolz. Not fluffy tail critters lolz.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I never had squirrel.. but I've had seal and sea gull

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: i know someone who eats squirrells...he hunts them...skins them and cooks em

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Poor critters.

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: yeah

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Ever had turducken?

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: i agree, with laura

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: i forgot u were gonna keep calling me laura lol....hey if anyone wants to talk on msn with me...add me silent_gurl08@hotmail.com

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Lolz. I would if i could. I can only check my msn inbox.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: can i ?

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: yeah go ahead...and wild flower u can add me to your email if you want

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I am i.eat.pencils@hotmail.com

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: thanks hun^^

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Mine is destinykitsune@hotmail.com lolz. Just in case.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: ^^

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: hey vamp...whats ur addy

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: elyon656@hotmail.co.uk

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: destiny, u can add me as well, ralfie all ready got might

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: ok i added u vamp...and destiny i added u to my email

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: ^^

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: We is all having webcam chats.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: When i can get on it. Cant right now.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: yeah, i'll make everyone laugh, right son?

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: i hope so...i need a laugh

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Destiny, you should get live messenger. And we can all go on and have fun^^

2009-07-16 [gypsy_soul]: you two should add *naf at the end of ur msn names...it gives money for some kind of cause

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: yeah, it will be fun

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: ^^

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I only can get online with my cell. I cant use any of my messengers. V.V

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Ahh.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: well do that hun. do u have yahoo?

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Yes. But i have to log off ep to do anything else.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Ahh.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Which i dont want to do.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Good point.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Yes. *curls into a ball*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: You ok? *hugs*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *hugs back* yeah im good ralfie. No worries.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Good^^ I gtg. Gonna go downtown for a bit. I'll see you later.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Aww. Ok later ralfie.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: you ok, destiny??*big hug*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Fine vamp. *hugs back*

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: ok, hun ^^ *smlies*

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: am dying ma brothers hair from ginger to brown lol

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Aww why? Brown hair is over common.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: yeah, well i use to be blond but now dark brown and now he wants to have brown hair too

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: and he get the pissed ripped out of him for being ginger

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: O.o he gets picked on for his hair color?

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: yep, big style.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Listens, eating ice cream*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: That bites. I like my hair color. Can't imagine dying it.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: i thought the same, untill i got sick of all the blond coments

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: People make fun of my hair too.. because it's 3 colors..

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I see how you would get annoyed Vamp... O.o what colors Ralfie?

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Brown at roots, then fades to deep red and then blond at the tips

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: ralfie is brown, fading to red, fading to blond

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Nice.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Not really. People call me a lot of crap for it and always assume that I dye my hair.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: yep

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Ive never heard of hair naturally doing that. i think its cool. But its your hair.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I know it's an odd thing, but my hair was always like that. I think it's probably the sun doing it.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: but it sounds cool, son

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Could be.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: *nod*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Um, chemicals inside or outside the body sometimes causes weird reactions.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: That could be it too.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Just a thought. *tugs on my hair*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Fixes makeup*

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: *bites nails*

2009-07-16 [It was just my imagination.]: You should mention something about how domestic abuse isn't just between partners. A lot of children are victims as-well. And most of the time when the partner is being abused so are the children. And since Domestic is relating to the whole family, Child abuse is included.

Also, its common to have oddly colored natural hair. I was born with blonde, red and brown hair.

2009-07-16 [Heavenly Justice]: *Huggles Ralfie* ME ME, I wanna be popular too!

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I suck with makeup. I look horrible with it i think. *twirls a piece of hair around my finger*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Very good point, [It was just my imagination.]. I'll be sure to add that as soon as I can. This wiki is far from done.

2009-07-16 [Heavenly Justice]: Yeah, knowing you, Ralfie, we're going to end up with another The Neurotic's Guide on our hands.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *plays with Vamp's hair*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: So what if I like to make long wiki's. They're always very informative.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *nods*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I think The Neurotic's Guide is actually over 100 wiki's just linked to each other..making a book, pretty much Oo

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I noticed. It scared me. O.o

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: lol

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *sits cross-legged on the floor*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I'm sore Oo

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: * plays with ralfie hair*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: :D

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Why sore ralfie dear?

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I don't know. Maybe my kidney's are shutting down. They've been bothering me lately.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: oh my...

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *frowns* i hope not.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: same

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Meh, I'll get it checked out when I go to the hospital next week.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *plays with my wristband*

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: *clicks ma finges* good ^^

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Im glad. I may hardly know you, but im fond of you.

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: same ^^

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I like you two too^^ *Group hug*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *huggles* ^-^

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: *hugs*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Yay.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: ^^

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: :)

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *hums*

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Runs around in squares*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Squares?

2009-07-16 [Tis gone but never gone]: wot?

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I just realized something....

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: what?

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: Three days after i leave for the navy is the eight-year anniversary of my mom's death...

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: wow.. *hugs tight*

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: *hugs back* yeah.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: I'm sorry... I know how hard it is to lose your mother...

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: I know. Honestly now and then i still cry...but she's in a better place.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Same here. I bawled my ass off yesterday. Even though we lost our mothers, we each gained an angel.

2009-07-16 [NyxianVanity]: That's a sweet thought. Oh sorry i have to go but ill be back on later ralfie.

2009-07-16 [Neurotic Obsession]: Alright^^ I'll see you later.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Ok. I might need anger counseling.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: What's wrong?

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: My stepmother overstepped boundaries and it upset me to crying. I put it in my diary.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: I read it :( *hugs tight* She had no right to say that.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: *hugs back* im just mad and frustrated. I want to hear someone's voice. Being there for me. Gah. Dont get me wrong ralfie. Thank you so much for caring.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: I understand completely where you're coming from. You want someone there with you. Someone to actually talk to you, tell you what you deserve to hear. Typing things can only do so much. It's much better when you can cry in someone's arms while they tell you that everything will be okay.

It's completely fine and acceptable to miss your mother, as you know, I'm going through the same thing. And in August, I'll be going through it with my father.

I guess all I'm saying is, it's nice to hear the words you want to hear.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Yes. I'm terribly sorry to hear of your father. *hugs you tight*

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Shrugs* It's okay. It was two birds with one stone. *hugs back* They died in a car accident.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: :/

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: It was 11 years ago. The pain is slowly getting better. *Hugs* I'm more concerned about you right now.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Thanks. Luckily you missed the worst of it. My friends wolvie and kitty had to be bothered with my stress lolz. *hugs back* honestly i want to cling to somebody.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: :( If I were there I would let you cling to me for as long as you wanted.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Thanks ralfie you're a sweetheart.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: I try my best.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: *smiles* wish i could adopt you.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Smiles* I'm too old to be adopted now. Now it's my turn to have kids and a family.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: I know. * tugs my hair*

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: *hugs tight*

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: *clings*

2009-07-17 [gypsy_soul]: hun I dont know if he is still on...but can I give u a hug?

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: I know he isn't. Felt like responding anyway. And sure. I'd like that.

2009-07-17 [gypsy_soul]: *big hugs*

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: *huggles tightly*

2009-07-17 [gypsy_soul]: i hope you feel better soon...i know its hard...but there are others that are here for you...and we care

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Thanks dear. That means a lot.

2009-07-17 [Tis gone but never gone]: awwh destiny, am sorry, and yes like laura said we're here for u, hun. *big long hugs*

2009-07-17 [Tis gone but never gone]: oh..guys..i won't be online for about two days, coz i need to deal with Latoya, my friend. before u ask who she is , ask Ralfie he knowns i told him last night. so i will see ya in two days!! * big hugs * see ya , love ya xxxxx

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Aww.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Tackles Destiny* Allo^^

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: :D hey ralfie!

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: How are you? Feeling any better?

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Much better. ^-^ thank you.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: *hugs tight* Good^^

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: *hugs back* i'm just glad my brain is working.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Nod* That's the big one. And the hardest one to get back on track.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Yeah. Your diary entry reminded me of that. it hurts worse when you're unable to remember. But its different.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: *Nod* All I have to remind me is the body spray my mom used to use.. when I miss her to the point where it's unbearable, I spray my pillow and sleep like that. Kind of pitiful for a grown man to do..

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: I think it's sweet. And ralfie i hate to bug you but now sexy soldier is saying i stole an idea of his. I dont know what the fuck he means!

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: Ask him what he means, and then let me handle him *Cracks knuckles* No one messes with my friends..

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: You shouldn't...but he said he copied what you put on here onto the d.a.s.s one and he's saying i favor you over him. He cut me off dass to begin with!

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: -.-' He's being childish. I wouldn't worry about it. I'm not making you guys choose. This is about helping others, not who has the most fans. And so what if he copied it? That just proves that he wants to be me and he envies my artistic abilities.

Give him a couple days and he'll forget about everything. Most children do.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: Ugh yeah. But i think he's a real jerk. The day after i have an emotional breakdown. Tch.

2009-07-17 [Neurotic Obsession]: He is a jerk. Ask pretty much anyone who knows him. He's a selfish little child. It baffles me how someone who claims to be put through so much be that selfish. And controlling? Don't get me started.

The fight between him and I, I gave that up long ago. It's easier to nail jelly to a tree than to begin to try to comprehend what's going on in his mind. But he hasn't, which shows who really is the child.

2009-07-17 [NyxianVanity]: I blocked him. I don't need his crap. I just hope this blows over before vamp comes back.