2011-11-06 [Stephen]: *stops, listening to the screaming and ensuring pandemonium, but then resumes his hasty getaway, realizing a few minutes later that the outer layout of the diner is designed to mimic that of a hedge maze, and he is now completely lost*

2011-11-06 [Schlachter]: "He had a lot to say, he had a lot of nothing to say we'll miss him...
He was so loud, told us he wasn't afraid to die, we'll miss him,
Ranting and poiting his finger, at everything but his heart, we'll miss him,
So long, we wish you well!
No way to recall, what it was that you had said to me...
Like I care at all!
No way to recall,
But you were so loud!
You took a stand on every little thing.
You saved me from my own existence.
So jump down, get off your fucking cross...
We need the fucking space, to nail the next fool martyr!
To ascend you must DIE!
You must be crucified!
For our sins and our lies...
GOODBYE!!!"
Here's your goddamn eulogy.

2011-11-06 [Nekko fox]: *Drags Stephen back into the erotic hug pile*

2011-11-06 [Schlachter]: I'm outta here!

2011-11-06 [Stephen]: Nooo!!!! *claws the ground and kicks and screams*

2011-11-06 [Morgoth]: *looks over the eulogy*

Hmm... no, no, no... this just doesn't scream "festive". *wads in up and tosses it in the trash*

I want the new copy on my desk by next Tuesday. We only have a small window of time here, as it seems grandma is selfishly decomposing. Dead whore. But we do at least owe that woman a proper send off, dang it! She was a real nice lady and stuff! *angrily slams his fist into the desk, which is just grandma's body stricken with rigor mortis and bent into the shape of a table*

2011-11-06 [Stephen]: Your desk seems to be decomposing. :)

2011-11-07 [Schlachter]: That is not "a" eulogy, that is "THE" Eulogy. Good day then, write it yourself.

2011-11-07 [Foxyvixen17]: i go on Vacation and people die........... sweet

2011-11-07 [Schlachter]: Yeah, at least some people are nearly useful.

2011-11-07 [Foxyvixen17]: i know right *watches a hobo pick at Nekko's feet as if they were holding gold*
uh........ wow he's desperate for cash aint he?

2011-11-07 [Nekko fox]:

2011-11-07 [Schlachter]: Dust mites... your favorite...

2011-11-07 [Nekko fox]: Hey, don't be talkin' 'bout ma pappy that way!

2011-11-07 [Master Sifu]: *Hiding under the table covering my penis.*

That vagina has teeth! Keep it away from my willy!

2011-11-07 [Nekko fox]:

What you say about Willy?

2011-11-07 [Schlachter]: lol interwebz

2011-11-11 [Nekko fox]: That's what she said before we set her on fire and hurled her into the bog.

2011-11-11 [Schlachter]: *gnaws on her bones*

2011-11-14 [crazypunk]: thanks for the add batman buty exactly?

2011-11-14 [Nekko fox]: Crazypunk gets Buty Duty!


*There is rousing cheer from the back where several other Buty handlers were being furiously mauled by an Angry Buty which has not had its daily fill of child suffering*

2011-11-14 [Schlachter]: *runs off somewhere dark to gnaw on bones peacefully*

2011-11-14 [Nekko fox]: *Drags Schlach back into the light*

You need to teach CP the ropes, so once he's done with his photography you can help him Buty Duty.

*A few children in the back cower like cowardly cowards, just like they were taught in Sunday School by the priest8

2011-11-14 [Morgoth]: *Mort walks in, wearing his priestly robes, and notices the cowering cowardly cowards cowering cowardly*

Ah... just like I taught them.

2011-11-14 [Schlachter]: Isn't a CP a she? Does she have more tasty bones I can gnaw on?

2011-11-14 [Nekko fox]: CP is a man until further evidence proves otherwise.

Also, we don't use evidence here at B's D.

As well also, CP.

2011-11-15 [Morgoth]: *Chris Hansen, hearing certain keywords, looks up from his meal of crushed dreams and broken promises and starts ordering people to take a seat*... *thinking he is the usher on call, an elderly couple sits down*... *their lives will never be the same*...

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Stephen]:

2011-11-15 [Morgoth]:

2011-11-15 [Morgoth]: Why am I typing this in an iframe in an iframe?

2011-11-15 Lord Josmar: Because no one likes you.

2011-11-15 [Stephen]: It's fun to type into an iframe from an iframe! :D

2011-11-15 [Nekko fox]: And people DO like you.

2011-11-15 [Schlachter]: Prove it! And CP is a she. No requirement for evidence... she wrote like one.

2011-11-15 [Nekko fox]: Nah, I'm pretty sure the best thing CP can be upgraded to at this point is "gender ambiguous". Same for you, madam.

2011-11-15 [Schlachter]: FEMALE!
And that's madam to you, your sexually ambiguousness. I happen to be a proud tripod. Watch: *walks about on all threes*

2011-11-15 [Nekko fox]: I've worked here long enough to have earned 'hermaphrodite', someday...you will have the same honor.

Mort's still working up from 'indeterminate flesh-eating disease'.

2011-11-15 [Schlachter]: *bone falls from mouth and gnawing stops*... *stares quietly in horror and dismay* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! *runs off screaming like a little girl and disappears into the darkness*

2011-11-15 [Nekko fox]: And that children is why cocaine is one helluva drug.

2011-11-17 [Sicarius]: *snerk*...and for whatever it is worth, I am back...however briefly...

2011-11-17 [Nekko fox]:

2011-11-17 [Master Sifu]: I hear President Obama likes to smoke his crack pipe while getting his dick sucked by a man.

2011-11-17 [Morgoth]: Who doesn't?

2011-11-17 [Nekko fox]: Obviously Bin Laden doesn't. I think he prefers holing up elsewhere.

2011-11-18 [Master Sifu]: Corn Hole or Pie Hole?

2011-12-06 Hitler: Ah, good, good. More people to hate. YOU! CRACKER! GET OFF MY HOUSE!

2011-12-06 [Stephen]: I completely forgot this place exists. :D

2011-12-07 [---Blind Spot---]: me too, i remember when i wrecked it for everyone back in the day, man how we grow up

2011-12-10 [Nekko fox]: "Wrecked it".

2011-12-10 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: Obvious wannabe troll is obvious :P

2011-12-10 [Nekko fox]: I don't know, I've seen worse.

2011-12-11 Jesus: Christ

2011-12-11 [Ringbearer]: You called me?

2011-12-11 [Nekko fox]: No, I think Jesus was simply re-affirming his title of "Christ".

2011-12-11 [Nekko fox]: Plus, he's on a stick.

2011-12-13 [Foxyvixen17]: *walks in with hard cider* oro?

2011-12-13 [Nekko fox]: You might want to thaw your cider.

2011-12-13 [Morgoth]: Or at least calm him down. I mean, there are children here.

2011-12-13 [Stephen]: -crickets-

Chirp chirp? Moo.


... WHAMMY.

2011-12-13 [Nekko fox]: Well wouldja lookie there.

2011-12-13 [Morgoth]: NO, U LOOKIE THERE.

2011-12-13 [Nekko fox]: NO!

2011-12-13 [Morgoth]: We seem to be at an impasse.

2011-12-13 [Stephen]: -hops in a car and drives away-

2011-12-13 [Nekko fox]: Impasse, not overpass!

*the overpass crushes Stephen's car 'neath its mighty, concrete tread to vent its frustration at being summoned for nothing. It then starts dispensing traffic in every direction, most of which land conveniently in McDonald's drive-thru windows*

*No one seems to understand the irony*

2011-12-14 [Morgoth]: *not even me*

2011-12-14 [Stephen]: -cannot understand, is dead* =[

2011-12-14 [Nekko fox]: And that is how traffic saved Christmas.

*Christmas is laying in the gutter, overdosed on Vicodin and cheap whiskey, a tire track on its back*

2011-12-15 [Stephen]: Ho, ho, ho! o_O

2011-12-17 [Sicarius]: ...*looks down at Christmas*...Really? *shakes head in disgust*...in the gutter? Tch, how cliche...*walks away whistling jaunty gypsy-esque tune*

2011-12-18 [Nekko fox]: *Traffic 'saves' [Sicarius] as well, at high velocity*

2011-12-18 [GlassCasket]: nom nom nom nom nom

2011-12-21 [matty coppick]: Nom

2011-12-24 Hewhomustnotberaped: (>)__(<)

2011-12-24 [Nekko fox]: Hewhomustnotberaped, allow me to introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is pyramid head.

2011-12-28 [---Blind Spot---]: hey there home slices

2011-12-28 [Sicarius]: *snerk* Pyramid head...*wanders off snickering*

2011-12-29 [---Blind Spot---]: heres something i wort when i was drunk

2011-12-29 [---Blind Spot---]: GRRR IM GANGSTER! GRRR IM MAD! jokes my names chad and im a really for real real good guy, i like anime, guns, manga, pussy, weed, ass, music and a nice pair of titehs im a smoker but soon to be quitting it, im practicing my guitar again so watchout lol nothing really comes to mind when i say what bands like i like em all theyre all pretty great otherwise they wouldnt be where theyre at today. i love me a girl with an open mind, a girl thats not afraid to be one of the guys and not try to get on all the guys, i like sex....its niice.....johhhkes this one im really good on that well not really but yeah i love a girl who watches por and a girl whos pretty comfertable with her body and i really love a girl who need a leg up on the selfesteem ladder, because most of you girls out there with low selfesteem should know that you are some of the most beautiful people some need work some dont but nobody in this group is ugly in my eyes, so just cowboy up and back dat ass up.....into my hands hm hmhmhmhm!

2011-12-29 [Nekko fox]: *the attic is full of people who care*

*they are all Jewish*

*Coincidentally, a large armed force of Germans seeking those who care burst in through the front door*

*Nekko looks up from his Obituaries/Shopping List*

Yeah, deliveries go in the back.

2012-01-10 [Nekko fox]: THE SILENCE OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT IS OPPRESSING.

*It echoes a few times*

*Guns down the echoes*

*All is peaceful once more*

2012-01-10 [Morgoth]: MY ECHOES!! *holds up a tiny, bleeding body*

"My... *cough... echoes."

Don't die, little fella!

"Don't die *cough cough* little fella."

Okay, you can stop that now...

"Ok-*COUGH*-ay y-you can stop th-"

*violently snaps the echo's neck*

2012-01-10 [Nekko fox]: MY NECK!

*His head flops about ineffectually*

Damn it Mort, this is why I can't have nice things.

*Grumbling, he goes to the back room and to get a spare neck. Walks out wearing a length of pipe*

Good enough!

2012-01-11 [Morgoth]: MY LENGTH OF PIPE!

*His length of pipe flops about ineffectually*

2012-01-11 [Nekko fox]: Bahahahah, behold my piped-ness!

2012-01-11 [GlassCasket]: My pipe is less of a pipe and more of a skewer xD

2012-01-11 [Nekko fox]: *Looks up from the skewers he was hiding in the pipes which are promptly stuffed into the remaining Paedros before being thrown to the zombies downstairs, barred behind a door kept closed by Misty's bloated carcass*

Eh?

2012-01-11 [GlassCasket]: O.O *explodes from the lack of logic in this establishment*

2012-01-11 [Nekko fox]: Oh, logic never left, it's caught in the bear traps by the front door. I think it's been eating the few echoes that grew too curious and came too close.

*Indicates logic that had nearly chewed off it's reasoning to escape the trap, and there are several heavily chewed echoes surrounding it*

2012-01-11 [Morgoth]: Logic looks a bit ill. Poor, ill logic. *pats logic on the rationale*... *logic whirs gently and syllogisms all over Mort's new shoes*...

OH, GODDAMMIT. *kicks logic right square in the cogitation*

2012-01-11 [Nekko fox]: *Watches as the logic starts regurgitating fallacies and untruths*

2012-01-12 [GlassCasket]: I NEED TO CALIBRATE MY LAZOR!!!

2012-01-12 [Nekko fox]: Liar, calibrations take place on Easter.

2012-01-12 [GlassCasket]: It isn't easter? O.O

2012-01-12 [Nekko fox]: Not til midnight.

2012-01-12 [Morgoth]: Well, it's Midnight. And it doesn't feel like Easter.

"That's because I'm not Easter!"

THE HELL YOU AREN'T! *slaps Midnight and continues fondling her chest, while she sobs uncontrollably*

2012-01-12 [GlassCasket]: *sends a rabid monkey to hump the legs of everyone in the room* BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

2012-01-13 [Morgoth]: *Danny, the legless gimp that lives under table 4, is sodomized*

2012-01-13 [Nekko fox]: *Table 4, which the monkey sodomizes the legless gimp under, is positively scandalized*

2012-01-13 [Morgoth]: *Mort never looks at the table the same way again. Mostly because he has developed a cock eye*

*Mort's well endowed cock eye becomes fully erect at the sight of the gimp raping*

2012-01-14 [GlassCasket]: *reveals a rabbit that has been brutally raped from within an old cut-off top hat* ENGARDE! *Thrusts the rabbit in every general direction*

2012-01-28 [Nekko fox]: *Watches as the flaccid rabbit is used ineffectually against Mort's prodigious ocular member*

2012-01-28 [Stephen]: o_O

2012-01-29 [---Blind Spot---]: ok.......

2012-01-30 [Sicarius]: ...wow...just wow...*saunters off*

2012-01-30 [GlassCasket]: :D

2012-01-31 [Nekko fox]: And that, boys and girls, is how we made tonight's special:

Mystery Meat!

2012-01-31 [Foxyvixen17]: scary

2012-02-01 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: /hurls

2012-02-01 [Nekko fox]: *Collects the projectile vomit from the wall and adds that to flavor the 'Mystery Meat' and updates the menu to 'Special: Exotically Spiced Mystery Meat' and adds twenty more dollars to overall cost*

2012-02-01 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: *Erases teh 25 dorra and replaces with 5 dorra* It's in good supply no need to jack the price up

2012-02-01 [Foxyvixen17]: *chuckles lightly*

2012-02-04 [Nekko fox]: That's what she said.

Then she burst into flames and we scattered her ashes at sea as per her last will and testament.

2012-02-04 [Stephen]: Ah, I miss the scruffy old Penguin. Now I have no one to banter with. >:(

2012-02-06 [Foxyvixen17]: poor stephen

2012-02-09 [---Blind Spot---]: yup...

2012-02-10 [Nekko fox]: Listen up everyone, funeral is this Thursday. Bring you own yamacas and beer.

2012-02-11 [Stephen]: o3o

I wonder why the word "Fun" is in a funeral.

2012-02-11 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: Because they're fun!

2012-02-11 [Stephen]: Are not. :[

2012-02-11 [Nekko fox]: Is too!

2012-02-11 [Stephen]: You don't know what you're talking about. :[

2012-02-11 [Nekko fox]: Not a damned clue.

2012-02-11 [Nekko fox]: But that won't stop me from contributing what could be construed as my opinion.

2012-02-11 [Stephen]: Be quiet and sit in a corner. :[

2012-02-11 [Nekko fox]: No.

2012-02-11 [Stephen]: Yes.

2012-02-11 [Nekko fox]: No. This is Manifest Destiny! God is on our side!

2012-02-11 [Nekko fox]: *Drives a 4x4 truck laden with beer, guns, and bibles, and parks it on the future grave site*

In the name of God, Jesus, and George W. Bush, I claim this plot of land.

Take the carcass elsewhere, this is AMERICA!

2012-02-11 [Stephen]: *picks up said carcass and quietly drops it into Nekko's truck*

2012-02-12 [Nekko fox]: Alriiiight, time to get that thing stuffed and mounted on my wall.

2012-02-15 [Schlachter]: CHUCK TESTA!!!!

2012-02-15 [Nekko fox]: No, that's not the real Chuck Testa...

It'S CHUCK TESTA!

2012-02-22 [zoloftzantac]: odd, I haven't been spammed with invites to this wiki for a while now ...

2012-02-22 [Nekko fox]: Should I change that?

2012-02-22 [---Blind Spot---]: all bullshit aside im just here for some ass

2012-02-22 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: LOL E-VAGINA, silly virgin

2012-02-23 [Nekko fox]: No no, he said 'ass'.

2012-02-23 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: Touche, Nekko, Touche

2012-02-23 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: HE's still a silly virgin, none the less, who the hell would want to cyber?

2012-02-23 [---Blind Spot---]: virgin? im 22 not a teenie bopper like you

2012-02-23 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: lol?

2012-02-24 [Nekko fox]: Rofl?

2012-02-24 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: I think he's horrid at come backs....

2012-02-24 [Nekko fox]: True. I know many 22 year old people who are virgins. One of the named goes by the screen name ---Blind Sp....nevermind.

And also Mort.

2012-02-24 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: LOL we allll know mortypoo is a virgin and will forever remain

2012-02-24 [Nekko fox]: Him and his ballgags of deception.

2012-02-24 [Stephen]: *chuckles*

Poor Mort. xD

2012-02-24 [Nekko fox]: Are you kidding? Mort is rich as most Jews! True story. I saw his yarmulke business.

2012-02-24 [Stephen]: lolol! xD

2012-02-25 [Nekko fox]: Hey, don't mock the business of his heritage!

2012-02-25 [The Goddamn Batman]: *Mort looks up from his dreidel collection and runs away crying*

2012-02-26 [Sicarius]: ...*peers in*...*realizes she should be working and skitters back to filing papers*

2012-02-28 [GlassCasket]: *explodes the papers*

2012-02-29 [Nekko fox]: *Explodes the filing cabinet*

2012-02-29 [The Goddamn Batman]: *explodes the explosions*

2012-02-29 [GlassCasket]: O.O Dear God what have we done...

2012-03-01 [Nekko fox]:

EXPLOSION∞

2012-03-01 [GlassCasket]: *dies*

2012-03-01 [Nekko fox]: *Dumps the carcass into the hole in the back corner of the diner*

There we go, don't need corpses mucking up our clutter.

*dusts the clutter made from all the explosions*

2012-03-01 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: *assists with a shovel*

2012-03-01 [Nekko fox]: Dog, shovels go in the soup, not in the eating area, you know that.

*several customers looks into their bowls of soup in surprise and notice that there are indeed shovels in their soup*

*Nekko looks up, surprised to see that there are, in fact, customers*

2012-03-01 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: *Blinks* Dogma, please.

*Goes to shovel the shit into the soup <<*

2012-03-01 [Nekko fox]: You can't be Dogma, it got ran over by my Karma.

*badum TISS*

*Shoots the drummer*

That wasn't a joke you bastard son of a goat-fucking whore! My canine companion, Dogma, was crushed by a friends Dogma Powered Scooter! OH WHY DOGMA?! WHYYY?!?

*goes back to shoveling Dog into the soup*

2012-03-01 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: *Grumbles something about canines and picks up a cat...* Hrm...why not? *tosses the cat into the soup*

2012-04-12 [sammie h!]: http://sammiehs.page.tl/

2012-04-20 [---Blind Spot---]: *walks in smoking a ciggaret and drining a coffee, then i see someone making cat soup* Cat is a fine meal

2012-04-20 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: oh god, you again!

2012-04-20 [---Blind Spot---]: sup "Dog" nice to see you to*blows out some smoke* dont worry im not here to ruin whatever it is youre doing, *takes a drag of my smoke then pulls out a bottle of whisky* carry on

2012-04-20 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: Dogma*

2012-04-20 [---Blind Spot---]: yea sure,*takes a shot of my whisky, and then starts digging around in my bag for something*

2012-04-20 [HeAVenShallBuRN]: [Stephen] can I eat him?

2012-04-20 [---Blind Spot---]: *pours whisky down [Stephen]'s throat*

2012-04-20 [Nekko fox]: Alright, it's a drinkin' party now!

*Gets drunk on half of one beer and vomits all over the hookers*

2012-04-20 God: I demans that [@56098] is made owner of this page so she can take over the world!!!

2012-04-20 The REAL God: Are you stoned?

Of course she shouldn't be owner, she can barely manage he own pages. And who says she's going to take over the world? Everybody knows that Romney is already doing that, Sammie is already four decades behind.

2012-04-20 [sammie h!]: Hay, no fair, I keep on top of official pages, all the time, thats part of my job on here, thank you very much. lol :)

2012-04-20 [Nekko fox]:
The Gods have spoken! Sammie is simultaneously the owner and NOT the owner! On that same token, Quantum Physics Theories suggest that when we are not directly observing this wiki page, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.

So, in a nutshell, nothing changes.

Now what happened to those hookers?

*The hookers are in fact a single bemused banana*

2012-04-21 [Schlachter]: No.

2012-04-21 [sammie h!]: The hooker is infact [Stephen]

2012-04-21 [Schlachter]: This place has gotten horrifically boring. I think I'm going to stop watching it.

2012-04-21 [sammie h!]: Good idea

2012-04-21 [sammie h!]: http://funstuffonline.page.tl/

2012-04-21 [Nekko fox]: It's only boring because he isn't commenting.

2012-04-21 [GlassCasket]: Who put spam in here dammit?! that shit is horrid!