Sainsbury's condoms......makin life taste better!



Tesco condoms......every little helps!



Nike condoms......just do it!



Galaxy condoms.......why have rubber when you can have silk?



KFC condoms.......finger lickin' good!



Skittles condoms.......taste the rainbow!



Minstrels condoms.......melt in your mouth not in your hand!



Abbey National condoms......coz life's complicated enough!



Coca Cola condoms........always the real thing!



Duracell condoms.......keep going and going!



pringles condoms.......once you pop you carnt stop!



Burger King condoms.......the home of the big woopper!



Muller light condoms......so much pleasure,wheres the pain?!



Andrex condoms........soft,strong n very long!



Renault condoms.......when size really does matter!



Domestos condoms......get's right under your head!



Pepperami condoms.......its a bit of an animal!



Polo condoms..........the one wid the hole!



Co-op condoms......... we work harder, so u dnt have to

Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"


The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I setup a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to accept a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male


Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a
blowjob.


Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.


Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.


Q.) What does a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.


Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!


Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"


Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the
Pillsbury Dough
Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.


Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.


Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.


Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're
screwed.

*Facts Of Life*
1.At Least 1 Person In This World Loves You So Much They Would Die For You.


2.At Least 5 People In This World Loves You,In Some Way.


3.The Only Reason Anyone Would Ever Hate You,Is Because They Want To Be Just Like You Or Are Too Narrow-Minded To See That They Would Rather Be Like You.


4.A Smile From You,Can Bring Happiness To Anyone,Even If They Don't Like You.


5.Every Night,Someone Thinks About You Before They Go To Sleep.


6.You Mean The World To Someone.


7.Without You,Someone May Not Be Living. [not bragging but this one is true i have made people feel cared about that they stopped thinking about it]


8.You Are Special And Unique,In Your Own Way.


9.Some That You Don't Know Even Exists,Loves You.


10.When You Make The Biggest Mistake Ever,Something Good Comes From It.


11.When You Think The World Has Turned Its Back On You,Take A Look,You Most Likely Turned Your Back On The World.


12.When You Think You Have No Chance At Getting What You Want,You Probably Won't Get It,But If You Believe In Yourself,You Probably Sooner Or Later Will Get It.


13.Always Remember Compliments You Received,Forget About The Rude Remarks.


14.Always Tell Someone How You Feel,Then They'll Know.


15.If You Have A Great Friend,Take The Time To Let Them Know That They're Great.


16.The Most Vaulable Things In This Life Cost Nothing.


17.Laugh And You Will Never Laugh Alone.


18.Always Be Kind To People When Your On An Up,Because You'll Meet Them Again On The Way Down.


19.When Everyone Walks Out Of Your Life,Someone else Will Walk Into It.


20.No One Can Ever Take Your Place.

Body: Month One
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.



Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.



Month Three
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.



Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.



Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!



Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?



Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never
see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak



If you're against abortion, repost this.

A bloke goes into a supermarket and buys:

* one tin of beans
* one bag of crisps
* one pack of burgers
* one tub of icecream
* one cake
* one yoghurt
* one pint of milk.

He takes them over to the checkout, and the girl looks at what he has bought and asks if he is single.

The bloke says sarcastically, "Yes. However how did you guess?"

The girl replies: "You're an ugly bastard."