my second cousin denise died yesterday at the early age of 55.  i wasnt that close to her, but my mom was. "closer than a cousin but not as close as a sister. i am wearing all black today in mourning for her. i dont feel that bad she died. she was very unhealthy and dieing slowly anyway. what i feal bad about is my mom. im worried about her. as soon as we got home she deleted all of the messages on the phone that were calls from her relatives. so my mouning state is more for her than for denise. also to all of her living relatives like aunt sissy. aunt sissy was living with her and i;m not sure where she is going to go. her pension is only 600 which is also her rent. denise died at 4 in the morning. she had a heart attack on the kitchen table.

memorial of denise. loved and lost. <3

so here i am
this is me
im not going to write my soul in here, but this is how i generaly feel.

im obsessed to 2 amazing girls. only 2 people on this planet i will do anything they ask, nomatter what. and only 3 people would i, even in the heat of an argument, kill myself if so asked. these 3 people mean the world to me. they are- my best friend, the person i love, and my worst enemy.

my best friend-
he knows me better than everyone else. he's been there through everything with me, and no matter how selfish i become, he is always there. last year i fell in love with him. no-it was beyond love, it wasnt even an obbsession, it was the most sincere i had ever felt about anyone in my life. he's still the most amazing guy i know, always worried about me- he was the only one of my friends that didnt abandon me in the time i needed him most. our friendship survived the worst. i care for him so much. i know we will always be friends. when i have a child, i plan to name them after him , in hopes that my child will be as noble as my best friend.

i am annie
i am the constant
i will always be there
no matter how hard you try
you can never leave me behind
i know how hard this is
i know exactily how
you may feal now
you know that
better than i
i love you
i love
i am

i have a friend
she is so beautiful
once a long time ago
she told me i was beautiful
she told me never to put myself down
so now i never do
she doesnt know how truely amazing she is
and how beautiful
on the inside and out
dont put yourself down sweet hart
did i ever tell you you're my hero?
you're everything i wish i could be