its valentines day!!!! this valentines day i am stressing the relationship between bakura and ryou! because they are the cutest couple in the world!!!!! and their relationship reminds me of my relation with my special someone. no one knows yet. anyway. i think i have a crush on this guy...but there is a catch. he has a girlfriend. i should stay away. but he's so nice to me and he makes me feal special. he's so warm when he hugs me. i know im being a hypocrite saying i had given up on guys....but i like him so much!
i should still stay away in remembracne of what happened last time. i dont want to hurt anyone. even if i dont know them.
maybe we would be better living alone.
you would never hurt anyone, nor would you get hurt.
i have a dream. its one you'd never think of of me. maybe i'll tell you some day. its not something i'm good at, its not even something i do often. but it makes me feal so good. its physically impossible for me to become that. but i will try anyway.
im losing my voice. the voice i treasured, its almost gone. its not mine anymore. i used to dream of becomeing a singer. it felt good letting all of my emotions out in a loud belt. but now its confined and constrained. i hate it. it sounds ugly.
i'm tired of being cute, that was when i could figure it out, and i understood every thought i was able to think. but now i dont understand anything. i want to be graceful, i want people to gawk when i walk by. i want to enchant people with mearly the movement of my finger tips.
have you figured out my dream? my most enhanced form of expression. even thinking about it makes my whole body scream with longing, my mind race, and my lungs empty of air until im dizzy with passion and anticipation.c
my second cousin denise died yesterday at the early age of 55. i wasnt that close to her, but my mom was. "closer than a cousin but not as close as a sister. i am wearing all black today in mourning for her. i dont feel that bad she died. she was very unhealthy and dieing slowly anyway. what i feal bad about is my mom. im worried about her. as soon as we got home she deleted all of the messages on the phone that were calls from her relatives. so my mouning state is more for her than for denise. also to all of her living relatives like aunt sissy. aunt sissy was living with her and i;m not sure where she is going to go. her pension is only 600 which is also her rent. denise died at 4 in the morning. she had a heart attack on the kitchen table.
memorial of denise. loved and lost. <3
so here i am
this is me
im not going to write my soul in here, but this is how i generaly feel.
im obsessed to 2 amazing girls. only 2 people on this planet i will do anything they ask, nomatter what. and only 3 people would i, even in the heat of an argument, kill myself if so asked. these 3 people mean the world to me. they are- my best friend, the person i love, and my worst enemy.
my best friend-
he knows me better than everyone else. he's been there through everything with me, and no matter how selfish i become, he is always there. last year i fell in love with him. no-it was beyond love, it wasnt even an obbsession, it was the most sincere i had ever felt about anyone in my life. he's still the most amazing guy i know, always worried about me- he was the only one of my friends that didnt abandon me in the time i needed him most. our friendship survived the worst. i care for him so much. i know we will always be friends. when i have a child, i plan to name them after him , in hopes that my child will be as noble as my best friend.
i am annie
i am the constant
i will always be there
no matter how hard you try
you can never leave me behind
i know how hard this is
i know exactily how
you may feal now
you know that
better than i
i love you
i love
i am
i have a friend
she is so beautiful
once a long time ago
she told me i was beautiful
she told me never to put myself down
so now i never do
she doesnt know how truely amazing she is
and how beautiful
on the inside and out
dont put yourself down sweet hart
did i ever tell you you're my hero?
you're everything i wish i could be