sometimes when i say "oh im fine.." i want someone to look me in the eye and say "tell me the truth"
WHAT TO DO IN WALMART
1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they are not looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens
5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&Ms on layaway.
8. Move "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
10. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes and X-Men.
13.Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressant
15. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
18. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
19. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
21. Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them you don't get out much and would they put one of those little paper umbrellas in it.
22. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud, "Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!"
23. TP as much of the store as possible.
this is gr8
.she'd do anything to [sp.ar.kl.e] in his eyes.//[<33]
.she [w/ould] s.u.f.f.e.r, she would fight & compra[mise.]
.she's bee.n wishing on a STAR| that shines [soul)(fire] BRIght.
FOR ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS THAT WILL HAUNT HER TONIGHT.
[Roses Are Red]
violets are blue
[i can not believe ..]
i got so attached to you
[you were like barbed wire ]
wrapped around my heart
[with every breath i took ]
you ripped me apart
[each little beat ]
is another small cut
[i dont know what it takes ]
to sew it all shut
[drip drip away .. ]
losing all my trust
[ just another broken memory .]
slowly fading to dust .
i took this from ..ugh..i dotn remember..but i liked her page
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
roflmao
If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you]
you know you're living in 2005 when:
1) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave
2) you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years
3) thE reaL reason for not staying in touch with friends is that theydon't have a screen name
4) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of justpushing to button on the tv
6) your boss doesnt even have the ability to do your job.
7) you read this list, & keep nodding and smiling
8) as you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends
9) and.. you were to busy to notice number 5.
10) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was no 5
11) & now you're laughing at your stupidity
ONE WISH
If I could just have one wish
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my check,
The touch of your fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine....
Knowing that i could never find that feeling
With anyone other than you
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."
The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes."
...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."
roflmao
**our daughters are whores and our sons sell death to kids**
CAPRICORN
Sassy.
Intelligent.
Sexy.
Predict future.
Irrestible, awesome kisser.
Great talker.
Always gets what he or she wants.
BY FAR the BEST in BED.
VIRGO
Dominant in relationships.
Sexy.
Always horny.
Freak in bed.
Always wants the last word.
Loud.
Caring.
Smart.
Loves being in long relationships.
Addictive.
Attractive.
SCORPIO
EXTREMELY sexy.
Talkative.
Energetic.
Predict future.
Most erotic.
Freak in bed.
GREAT kisser.
Not one to mess with.
Always get what they want.
Once u get hold on to them.
SAGITTARIUS
Spontanious.
Horny.
High sex appeal.
Rare to find.
Good when found.
Loves being in long relationship
TAURUS
Aggressive.
Freak in bed.
Rare to find.
Loves being in long relationships.
Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremly outgoing.
Outstanding kisser.
Sexual as fuck.
GEMINI
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Great listeners
Very Good in bed.
Lover not a fighter, but will still punch your lights out.
Trustworthy
CANCER
Great Kisser.
Very high sex appeal.
Great in bed.
Most horny.
PISCES
Caring.
Smart.
Center of attention.
Too Sexy, DAMN IT.
Very high sex appeal.
Has the last word.
Extremely weird but in a good way.
Super good in bed.
LIBRA
Very gentle.
Very romantic.
Nice.
Love is one of a kind.
Silly and fun, sweet!
Have own unique sexiness.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
Amazing in bed!
AQUARIUS
Trustworthy.
Sexy.
Rare to find.
Loves being in long relationships.
Extremly energetic.
Amazing in bed, the BEST lovers.
ARIES
Outgoing.
Spontanious.
Not one to fuck with.
Have own unique sexiness.
Unpredictable.
Erotic.
Funny.
Addictive....H
Take you on trips to the moon in bed.
FUCKING HOT
LEO
Hated by alot of people
normally ugly
Good at sport
shy.
*..im gemini*
Don't make fun of it, don't destroy it, don't cheapen it...
...that one special thing everyone has.
My love... My dreams... And you.
I won't let those go, no matter what.
On those nights where you can't settle down no matter what you do...
...you feel like throwing it all away.
Don't say a word, just open the door.
I don't have time to quibble with you.
I wanna fly all over the place, I wanna throw caution to the wind!
I haven't lost anything, I haven't even gotten started yet.
Don't make fun of it, don't destroy it, don't cheapen it...
...that one special thing everyone has.
My love... My dreams... And you.
I won't let those go, no matter what.
What is it you want? What you wanna do? Where you wanna go?
Grab what you want and rip through the dark as you run through the night!
* stole this from some random person*
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Him
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
B=Beautiful
I=Individual
T=That
C=Causes
H=Hard-on's
**just some more "bitch" ones i dont have..nuthin 2 important**
"Stay true to your path, and you’ll find the light within the deepest darkness."
1) thou shall not sneak out when parents
are sleeping.
(why wait?)
2)thou shall not do drugz
(alcohol last longer)
3)thou shall not steel from k-mart.
(Wal*Mart has a bigger selection)
4)thou shall not get arrested for
vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect)
5)thou shall not steel from thy parents.
(every-1 knows grandma has more money)
6)thou shall not get in fights.
(just start them)
7)thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8)thou shall not strip in class.
(hooters pays more)
9)thou shall not think about having sex.
(as nike sayz just do it)
10)thou shall not help old ladies cross
the street.
(just leave them in the middle)
lmao
go to AnTiCoNfOrMiSt ReInS AgAiN its my new wiki..go or perish..
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
Take my life?
Whoa-oh-ohh
With just a look they shook
And heavens bowed before him.
Simply a look can break your heart.
The stars that pierce the sky;
He left them all behind.
We’re left to wonder why
He left us all behind.
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
Take my life?
Whoa-oh-ohh
(ohh)
Dreams of his crash won’t pass
Or how they all adored him.
Beauty will last when spiraled down.
The stars that mystify
He left them all behind.
And how his children cry
He left us all behind.
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
Take my life?
Whoa-oh-ohh
What's the hook, the twist
Within this verbose mystery?
I would gladly bet my life upon it.
That the ghost you love, your ray of light
Will fizzle out without hope.
We're the empty set just floating through, wrapped in skin,
Ever searching for what we were promised.
Reaching for the golden ring we never let go,
Who would ever let us put our filthy hands upon it.
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
Take my life?
Whoa-oh-ohh
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
Take my life?
Whoa-oh-ohh
Go ahead and hate me,
Do you think I care?
You're wrong
It was a trick question
I do care
I love it
When you hate me
When you threaten me
When you hurl abuse
You act like
Like stupid little children
You can't do anything
You are so powerless to stop me
Do you really think
You mean anything to me?
You are nothing
If you die
I won't cry
Probably I won't know
But it's not like
You're real to me anyway
Does that hurt you?
Not really
You should know by now
We are all just as fake
As one another
I'm a fat old pedo
With one hand down my pants
Talking to a schoolgirl with plaits
Who's really just
A pedo with one hand down his pants
We are all pretend
We've got nothing to lose
I'm as much a lie
As you
I'm against cruelty to animals, but, frankly, children are fair game.
happy happy joy joy im ur kinky sex toy, beat me, bite me, make me bleed, kinky sex is all i need
The Fight of Roy and Envy!!
Roy was poised ready to snap his fingers and send flames to engulf his opponent, the ever shifting homunculus Envy, who was preparing for a dodge, followed by jump kicking the over confident colonel. Ed, who was just observing, rolled his eyes at the scene. They'd been fighting pointlessly for the last hour...both sending insults back and forth like preschoolers with knowledge of colorful words.
"Would you both cut it out?" Ed finally interupted.
"NO! I'M NOT DONE YET! I WILL BEAT HER!" Roy hollered back.
"You're going to lose! So just give up." Envy smirked.
"Oh really?"
"Yes...really.
"How's that?"
"Because I haven't used my secret weapon yet." Envy's grin spread wider.
"And what would that be?" Roy inquired.
"I'm a guy, not a chick."
Roy passed out from shock. Envy jumped up and down happily, having won. And Ed...well...Ed decided he was disowning Roy as his colonel and Envy as his enemy.
Morning Schedule of Colonel Roy Mustang
6:00 a.m.: Roll over as alarm goes off.
6:09 a.m.: Smash snooze button on alarm clock.
6:18 a.m.: Throw alarm clock across room.
6:27 a.m.: Get out of bed to retrieve alarm clock, while hitting the snooze button again.
6:36 a.m.: Get out of bed, put on ignition gloves, torch alarm clock, and go back to sleep.
6:40 a.m.: Back to sleep.
6:50 a.m.: Wake up again and see that there is only ten minutes to get ready...Then crawl back into bed to sleep for five more minutes.
6:55 a.m.: Wake up, throw on clothes, straighten out hair, and run out door for work.
6:59 a.m.: Run back in and put pants on, THEN run to work.
7:05 a.m.: Get shot at by grumpy first lieutenant for being late.
Moral of the story: Well...there isn't one...but it sure as hell is funny to watch the Colonel dodge bullets.
Roy's afternoon schedule
12:00 p.m.: Stare at stack of paperwork.
12:10 p.m.: Curse at stack of paperwork.
12:20 p.m.: Decide not to do paperwork until later, when it was due ten minutes ago.
12:30 p.m.: Got shot at by first Lieutenant and get black mailed into doing paperwork.
12:35 p.m.: Hide in the bathroom in order to get out of doing paperwork.
12:40 p.m.: Get pulled out of bathroom by Lieutenant.
12:45 p.m.: Run back into to retrieve pants.
12:50 p.m.: Bang head on desk repeatedly until head goes numb.
12:55 p.m.: Swear to self that the paper work just moved on its own.
1:00 p.m.: Realize level of sanity is decreasing.
1:10 p.m.: Hire someone to forge signature, and run away...very fast...
Moral of the story: Claiming a phobia of paper work would have been much easier...But then again, it's funny to watch Roy go nuts!
Roy's evening schedule
7:00 p.m.: Enters house upon surviving another day of work.
7:10 p.m.: Sits down to relax.
7:11 p.m.: Realizes food is needed.
7:15 p.m.: Pulls out things to cook dinner.
7:20 p.m.: Realizes that both he AND his kitchen are on fire.
7:25 p.m.: Stop. Drop. Roll.
7:45 p.m.: Emerges from charred kitchen and decides food isn't THAT necessary.
8:00 p.m.: Goes to take a shower.
8:10 p.m.: Gets out of shower, takes pants off, then gets back in.
8:20 p.m.: Curses at Ed for replacing shampoo with glue.
8:30 p.m.: Puts clothes on, making a mental note to remember when and when NOT to wear pants...
8:40 p.m.: Answers ringing phone.
8:45 p.m.: Calmly sets phone on table and walks away as Hughes continues to talk.
9:00 p.m.: Goes to sleep.
10:00 p.m.: Rolls over.
11:20 p.m.: Mumbles incoherently about a toaster or something or other.
1:35 a.m.: Gets out of bed, picks up phone, says good bye to Hughes, and goes back to sleep.
Moral of the Story: Well...Nothing
Should have listened to mother
"Colonel?"
"Mmmm...yeah?" Roy answered as he lifted his head off of his desk, with a piece of paper clinging firmly to his face from where he'd drooled all over it.
"Your paperwork is due in a few hours." A concerned Riza mentioned as she resisted the impulsing urge to roll her eyes at the immaturity level of her superior officer.
"I know..." Roy put his head back on the desk, in a way that sounded more like a bang. "But I just doin't want toooo...! I didn't join the military to sign my name 627 times!"
"627?"
"I'm just guess numbers here okay! Fine fine I'll get on it...Damn...St
"You know Colonel, if you'd do your paperwork when you fist got it, then you wouldn't have to worry about having to hurry to get it done to meet your deadline." Riza commented, in a very intellegent, and particularly Riza-like way.
"You just don't understand! These papers are AGAINST ME! YOu didn't see the way they tried to DESTROY me that one time! They're still angry that I didn't die!"
"Did your mother ever mention to you a job that you would be better suited for? Most mothers like to tell their children what they should take up as a career, they're usually right you know. My mother told me I should have been a doctor...I'm starting to think I should have listened to mother..."
"Well...My mother told me I should suffocate myself in a bodybag, then take myself down to a lake and throw myself in it...Then drown myself again...You know...Maybe I should have listened to mom...Then I wouldn't have to worry about paperwork..."
"...Okay...I'm sorry I said anything
(In the last story, Al has his body back and he's in the military as a Lt. Colonel)
You Mean Bastard & Payback is a Bitch with a Bold Capital B and Blond Hair to go with it
"Ed, Ed are you okay?" Al said shaking Ed slightly to wake him out of his fitful dream.
"GAH!" Ed clung to Al as he snapped back to reality. "It was awful!"
"What happened?"
"I had a dream that Winry had a knife and she came up to me and said she wanted my ARM BACK! So she could do freaky experiments on MEEE!"
"OH Ed it's okay, I don't think she would really do that, now go back to sleep." Al soothed.
"Okay..." Ed laid back and rolled over on his side, promptly falling asleep.
Ed turned and opened his eyes slowly, realizing that it was already morning. He sat up and notcied that Al was already gone. He grumbled and got up, shuffling out of the bedroom lazily.
He rubbed his eyes as he saw Winry standing in the kitchen.
"Hi Ed!" She smiled.
"Uh...Hi Winry, what are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd visit you! You to to say hello and..."
"And?"
"I NEED YOUR ARM BACK ED!" She cackled wickedly pulling out a knife.
Ed screamed bloody murder and flew out the door as fast as his short legs would allow him to go.
Al stood up from behind the counter and busted out into a hysterical fit of laughter. "Here, go by that..um...thi
"YAY! Tell Ed I mean him no harm!" She ran out happily.
"Oh man..." He shook his head as Ed wandered back inside with this 'eat shit and die' look on his face. "That was golden Ed!"
"You mean bastard...I hope you drown in a bathtub!" Ed stomped back into their bedroom. 'This means WAR!' He thought to himself.
The next day Al walked, or should we say, dragged himself into his office. He planned on spending at the very least the next four days in that very spot behind his desk. There was NO way he was going home...Not after what Ed did...Oh yes he'd gotten his amusment out of Ed's dream with Winry and the knife, but Ed did quite the number in return.
For instance, Al's eyes STILL burned from the effect of the hot sauce, that Ed had replaced his shampoo with. Yes that was a very RUDE awakening. Not to mention ended with him rolling his face all over the carpet...Naked no less...Oh yes but it DOES get better. That's right Ed borrowed Hughes camera so that he could relive the moment any time he wanted!
Al had quietly crawled back into the bathroom, where he stayed for the rest of the night and most of the morning, crying over the massive wound to his ego.
That is until Ed gently coaxed him out of the bathroom and into the second stage of hell, as Al found himself referring it to.
Yes, Ed was quite conniving when he wanted to be. Put it this way, Al would NEVER look at breakfast in the same light again...Especi
And then Al when off to brush his teeth, which Ed seemed quite prepared for, seeing as how he replaced the toothpaste with mayonaise. Needless to say Al had to run his tongue all over the carpet to make it go away. Yet another opportunity for Ed to capture the moment.
Al then proceeded to lock himself in a closet. Ed was also prepared for this as he left momentarily. He did return though, with a certain person of which, getting people out of closets was a long standing family trait that ran for generations. Yes, that's right, poor Al was subjected to Armstrong's over whelming need to prove his abilities.
Al bolted. He ran straight for the window and treathened to jump if any one came close to him. Of course, in Al's temporary insanity, he forgot that their dorm room window was only three feet off the ground...
Ed practically cackled as Al fell out the window and landed over a bucket of still water, nearly breaking his back AND soaking himself at the same time, not to mention freezing his ass off as it was only 30 degrees out side.
Now was the time he decided to, puting it in his words, run for his fucking life. Oh yes, he high tailed it, not caring that he only had one shoe, no shirt and his pants were barely hanging on. He NEEDED to get away! He ran into his office and shut the door. He didn't turn the light on for fear of giving himself away.
And so he sat at his desk quietly...Real
So they say.
stole this off of sum1 page..it is funny as hell