For all the times i have been down---- nothing compares to what i see when i look around-----it hurts so much i don't know what to do-----you're still there, but you do't understand, i need you---- i cant breath
i just want death
I'm drowning in a river of tears
and still nothing appears
i cant sleep i cant eat
all because you think i would cheat
you can't look into my eyes
i have become everything you despise
you hesitate to hold me
you wish to let me free
I LOVE YOU!!!
i really do
i didn't do it
there's nothing to admit

Hopes and dreams may slip away
a summers day will never stay
tears will be shown
i will always feel alone
at times i will feel so depressed
i will want to put myself at rest
things will always go wrong
but life will go on
my heart has been broken
i have shown a fake grin
i have tried to end it all
but at the end of a great fall
the sun does shine
everything looks fine
my heart heals
and i start to feel
no matter how hard things seem
no matter where I've been
i know one day
everything will be OK
 

I'm lost and alone
no place to call home
I'm so afraid
so scared to fade
I've never needed a friend like i do now
so torn and i don't know how
you walked away
left me with nothing to say
hopes and dreams are broken
my heart is black and lonesome
i lost everything that exists
did anyone even notice
I've never needed a friend like do now
so torn and i don't know how
you walked away
left me with nothing to say
what did i do wrong?
i was never strong
I'll hide everything that bothers me
so things will go back to what it use to be
because i never needed a friend like i do now

A brave girl never cried
she smiled like there was nothing to hide
she followed her dreams
never ripping at the seams
a brave girl brightened everyones day
on a dark night in may
she was no where to be found
for they laid everything she believed in the ground
a smile did shine but it was fake
she seemed fine but her heart did break
never would this brave girl admit
that the pain had hit
silently crying in her room
quietly praying it would be over soon
a brave girl could not break down
so she would fall apart when no one was around
her mother held her tight
and whispered don't give up the fight
tears ran down a brave face
no longer did she feel disgrace
her heart did ache
her soul did break
"i know i let you down"
she whispered with a frown
"i don't want to cry
i don't want to say good-bye."
a brave girl looked at her mother so unprepared
she said for the first time in her life
"I'm scared."

We found her note
And this is what she wrote
"I'm sorry
Everything was so scary
I woke up today
Everything was dark and Grey
You didn't do anything wrong
I just wasn't strong
I'm sorry for the mess
I'm sorry if i make any distress
Sorry it had to end like this
I just couldn't exists."
The day we laid her in the ground
Loneliness is what we found
I dint understand how she felt so alone
If i had only known
So young to be lost
Her youth just tossed
Hear the words that i have to say
My note will be writing one day
One day i will join you
and the world would have lost two

I will stand out
While you stand down
I'll shout out
while you conform
I'll stand tall
As you stand back
I'll watch you fall
as I stand still
I'll break all the rules
As you bow down
your everybody's fool
But in the end
I envy you

Love yourself for who you are
and you will get far
eat something and forgive yourself
beauty is not as important as health
beauty is whats on the inside
thats something you cant hide
i know you feel guilty
eating makes you feel filthy
you can make it through this
theres so much that you will miss
being sick and feeling faint
you shouldn't be in this state
if only you saw what the world sees
then maybe it would give you a little ease
i know its tough
and you don't feel like your enough
if someone helped her
she would get better

A tear will silently roll down my face
wiped away with out a trace
i have fallen so far
I'm afraid to scar
darkness may fade away
but nothing perfect can stay
dreams come true
but to hard to pursue
my silent tear will not be shown
ill show others i have grown
act like my fall never hurt
i will have to convert
act like dreams don't end
then maybe a heart will mend

I know you`ll be gone a short while
but ill have to struggle to smile
to the sun we can run away
in its rays we could stay
playing on Aryans belt
telling each other how we felt
slide along the milky way
on the big dipper we could sway
but when dreams come to an end
all i can do is think of the nights we did spend
i will call out your name in the night
wake up and realize your out of sight
hold my hands out to a ghost
missing your touch the most
ill wait for you on my own
please don't hesitate to come home

You all look at me and say
girl you have been blessed
but you all cant see inside of my unhappiness
you cant see how many words were wasted
you cant see how many tears were tasted
you cant see the pain
you cant see the shame
you can keep on looking
and see what you want
but all the tears words and pain
will be an never ending taunt

Mirror mirror show me what i wanna see
Show me everything i could be
Make me thinner make me taller
Change my skin to a darker color
Transform me into everything I'm not
make me beautiful for my creator forgot
Dip me in the river of song
hang me in the starts to be strong
Mirror mirror do your best
Make me feel as if I'm blest
Make my dreams come true
Change everyones harsh view
Mirror mirror make people love me
Listen to me and here my plea
make me famous
Make me glorious
Mirror mirror destroy everything that i am
And make me just like them!!!

I'm weak but I'm still trying
the day is hard but I'm not crying
don't give up on me
i need you cant you see
I work harder and harder every day
i need you to say everything will be OK
i wanna know that i am loved
i need to hold you, to be hugged
one day i will be fine
just give me time
don't leave me yet
theres not one day i don't regret
i may look dead
i lost all faith and Hung my head
I'm weak but I'm still trying
the day is hard but I'm not crying
but please don't give up on me
i want to be free
don't give up on me

A beautiful soul lost
a broken body tossed
a person unreached
a heart that preached
the tears were never seen
the tipical teen
I'm so scared
I'm so unprepared
i don't know if i wanna let go
but i don't want to die slow
i didn't make it passed 16
this world was cruel and mean
i die alone
my reasons unknown
i hate to much
destroyed everything i touched

These are my final words
I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of being scared
tired of slowly dieing
i now Say good-bye to the ones i love
Even if they didn't love me back
i saw sorry For taking my life
its something i couldn't hack
i slit my wrists
and watch the blood flow
i will feel the sting
and my pain will start to show
i loved lots
but no one loved me in return
many have died in the world
now its my turn
please forgive me for being born
i know you didn't want me
I'm not what you expected
theres nothing left to be
left alone now
everything is done
carved in to my arm 2 words
you won

I'm a broken angel
with a broken wing
there was songs in my heart
but now i cant sing
I'm a broken angel
down on one knee
wanting to go to heaven
but hell is where ill be
I'm a broken angel
with blood for tears
screaming in pain
hoping god hears
my halo has fallen
my dress is torn
my head hanging low
wishing i was never born
I'm a broken angel
that can not fly
i failed my life
now i must die
I'm sorry god
but this little broken angel
couldn't take much more
for herself she had to kill

You stole my breath when i 1st saw you
i gave you my heart
but you broke it
you stole my life
i lost my friends
you shattered my soul
you tore my dreams
you destroyed my faith
you crushed my hope
you dried out my eyes
my voice is lost from all the screams
you wasted my time
you mangled my smile
i lost so much sleep
you weaken my laugh
you burned my happiness
you encouraged my insecurity
you caused all the scars
you made me forget my memory's
you caused ,e to slip into darkness
you swallowed my beauty
you barred my love
and now you take my last breath

Suicide is a mortal sin
but in my heart god has not bin
the pain the suffering
the loss the crying
why give me a life i cant take
kill me god for my sake
go to hell for the life you gave me
the pain i cant set free
please forgive what I'm going to do
god if you only knew
sorry but i have to take this life
cut my wrist with my knife
the blood will flow
and ill sink below
I'm sorry i committed suicide
these scares i cant hide
watch over the people i love
I wont be up above
forgive me for i take my life tonight
i gave up the fight
as the blood appears
the pain disappears

Sitting on the cols bathroom floor tears rolling down my face, my eyes burning, my heart aching,
I held out my wrist ,clenching my hand SO tight, I put the end of the razer blade pushing the tip in and watching my blood ooze out and roll down my arm, i pulled the blade down to wards my elbow, the blood running Donw, the sting of the pain telling me I'm still alive.
My hands shaking I tried to open my bottle of Tylenol, finally popping open the top my blood running off and onto the floor slowly dripping my life away, I pored the bottle into my mouth swallowing over 30 pills, i took the blade in my other hand and i slid the blade down my arm.
I dropped the blade down beside me, sliding down to the floor laying my arms out watching the blood spill out,
"My once a upon a time" didn't end "happily ever after"
 

See these beautiful tears I cry?
just before i die?
My wings so tattered and torn
Wishing i was never born
I'm not OK , i know I'm not
I can feel my insides i know they rot
Look inside my broken heart
Watch, as it falls apart
The pain is now visible in my eyes
I cant hide beneath the disguise
Dig my grave-dig it deeper
As I sit here and pull the trigger

Remember how i would sit with you
and watch star trek
and now all you do is yell and
give me heck

Remember how i would stand on your feet and we would dance
now no words spoken just an
evil glance

Remember how you would laugh with me
I wish things could go back to the way they use to be
Remember daddy how i was your little won
your special one

Remember when i would lay on your tummy and fall asleep
You gave me so many memory's to keep

I want my daddy back
I want life to go on its old track
I want to go to my childhood again the way me and you were back then

I'm sorry daddy that i couldn't be more
I'm sorry i had to make a war
Daddy I want to be your little girl
a young Lady, a perfect pearl

I want to have a father daughter dance
Oh please daddy give me a chance
I know I'm not perfect but ill try
ill reach for hope up in the sky

Daddy do you think it would take to much just to say hi
or i love you even if its a lie

Daddy come back to me
Let things be the way
they use to be...

come home daddy, your little girl needs you

Tears are the diamonds of the eye
Why cant her diamonds be oh so rare
a broken heart that the world forgot
when shes gone will no one care??
leaving loved ones in despair
because her heart was lonely
because life just couldn't be fair
or because no one saw her diamonds
doesn't have to leave but so ready to
a meaningful life suddenly ends
no more diamonds to cry
not a mother, father, brother, sister of friends
lost in the hands of fate
for this young child's prayers were to late